Menu
1 Minute read

Manhattan Interlude

/ by


1 Minute Read

I am in a lift, heading up to the forty-fifth floor, to Russell’s apartment, 45-O, the studio apartment with the grand piano, the windows overlooking midtown Manhattan. On windy nights you could feel the building sway, ever so slightly. On cold nights – how many were there? – he lit a fire. I remember a fireplace, although it’s possible there wasn’t one. We’d make love, silently, because I was too shy to speak once my clothes were off. I thought my body should be able to say enough, to say all I couldn’t, the words sliding off my body onto the bed, into the air, on our sweaty limbs as they coasted over each other—it’s no good. I can’t remember much about us back then. I do remember he made me scream once – that may have been the first time I’d ever had an orgasm with someone inside me – but that was in my shared apartment on the eighth floor, a West End Avenue sublet, books lining the walls of the curving entry hallway, where the two rooms radiated off. There was a piano there, too, but it was in bad need of a tuning, which my roommate and I could never afford, and the real tenants were living elsewhere, in Europe or someplace I only dreamed about at the time. Russell went on the QE2 from New York to London, where they had grand pianos ready for him. That January it snowed a lot and I waited for him to call me. I knew when he was returning but he didn’t call for another week. The next winter he said he was getting married. Since I hadn’t ever been able to talk to him in a way that didn’t involve my body, I wasn’t surprised, but I felt my heart craze against my stomach when he told me. I went to the pre-wedding party, a posh event in a huge uptown apartment. I don’t remember anything about it except what I wore, and I expect I drank too much. My friends thought I was mad to go. I moved to London the following summer. Now I look him up on the internet and of course he has no idea.

From Barbara’s collection To the Boneyard published by Eyewear Publishing. You can purchase it here.

About Barbara Marsh

Profile photo of Barbara MarshBarbara Marsh is a poet, musician and teacher and winner of the 2015 Troubadour International Poetry Prize. Her collection, To the Boneyard, is
published by Eyewear (2013). As a singer/songwriter, she worked primarily in NYC and London, co-forming Anglo-American duo The Dear Janes. Formerly with Geffen Records, they released three albums and toured Europe and the US. She is the author of the first book-length monograph on poet Ruth Stone. The ballet part is true.

You might also like

Hear more from us

Subscribe to our newsletter