WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
WHAT DO YOU DO?
I’m a writer and activist.
TELL US WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE YOUR AGE?
I love everything about it except the physical deterioration: arthritis, osteoporosis, and some hearing loss – none of which keep me from doing the things I want to do.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE NOW THAT YOU DIDN’T HAVE AT 25?
Infinitely more self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-acceptance.
WHAT ABOUT SEX?
Sex is way better than it was when I was young, because I’m more accepting of my physical flaws and better at expressing what I like and don’t like.
The most important component of a good late life is not health or wealth but a strong social network. Those networks tend to shrink as we leave the workforce and people we’ve known all our lives die. I’m always urging people to make friends of all ages, have followed my own advice, and have many wonderful younger friends. I’m going to need help shoveling and schlepping and getting rid of those damn chin hairs, and I want to be able to cast a wide net. Age is a dumb divide. Think of something you like to do and find a mixed-age group to do it with.
HOW FREE DO YOU FEEL?
Extremely. Partly because I’ve been brave, but mainly because I’m lucky and privileged: I have enough money, I have a partner, my kids are doing fine, and I’m pretty healthy.
WHAT ARE YOU PROUD OF?
I’m proud that my first book, Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well, earned me a place on Phyllis Schlafley’s Eagle Forum Enemies List. (She was the dreadful woman who tanked the Equal Rights Amendment in the US in the 1970s by brilliantly framing it as a family values issue.) I’m also proud that I’ve gotten as far as I’ve gotten as an anti-ageism activist with zero training or institutional support, self-publishing This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism in 2016. That changed this spring, when Melville House brought the book out in the UK (along with Celadon Books in the US) – hooray!
WHAT KEEPS YOU INSPIRED?
If you’d told me 10 years ago that I’d be fascinated by aging, I’d have said, “Why on earth would I want to spend my time thinking about something so sad and depressing?” Now I understand that it’s the biggest canvas there is: how we move through life and interact with institutions and each other. For a generalist like me, who could never decide what to be when she grew up—I certainly never intended to become a writer or public speaker—that’s heaven. It’s also a critically important social justice issue in a world of longer lives, especially everyone with less power and voice: people of color, women, and people of all abilities.
WHEN ARE YOU HAPPIEST?
When I have a smart idea and get it down “on paper.” When my grandchildren run at me. Outside on a hot summer day, ideally dancing — badly.
AND WHERE DOES YOUR CREATIVITY GO?
Into my writing.
WHAT’S YOUR PHILOSOPHY OF LIVING?
Don’t have one. Be kind. Try not to judge.
Check me into the psychedelic hospice, please. (It’s a thing.)
ARE YOU STILL DREAMING?
Of course, bigger all the time.
WHAT WAS A RECENT OUTRAGEOUS ACTION OF YOURS?
Hopping the subway turnstile. Because they announced my train wasn’t running, so I exited, and then they announced it was, so yeah.
If you’d like to catch Ashton while on her book promotion tour, here’s her schedule: