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The Podcast Sex Advice for Seniors Takes TikTok by Storm

4 Minute Read

‘So whose idea was this,’ said my mother. ‘Was it hers?’ she said, pointing to me. My memory being what it is, I honestly couldn’t remember. I recall Peter – I do the podcast with Peter Marriott Thompson who is also the man I’m enjoying a sexy, fun time with – saying something about starting a YouTube channel and me saying that perhaps recording a video related to sex where anyone could view it – was not the best platform for it. We needed somewhere that was more discreet. At that point, I believe I suggested a podcast and Sex Advice for Seniors was born.

Friends of mine will know that I don’t do frivolous things just for the sake of it. My interest in sex goes way back, and I have more experience than most when it comes to that particular recreational activity. Being impulsive, I also tend to dive into things without giving them too much thought, only to realise that – yet again – I have taken on something which requires work. I’m not sure what Peter had in mind when he suggested the YouTube channel, but I suspect that it wasn’t taking on a full-time job but rather having a bit of fun and talking about one of his favourite topics.

They say in business, timing is everything, and in our case, this was undoubtedly true. I could never have imagined doing an interview for the Sun newspaper or the Independent about my sex life if had it not been for the Emma Thompson movie, Good Luck to you, Leo Grande. This happens to be about a 55-year-old woman never having had an orgasm and paying a male sex worker to support her sexual voyage. It was released the same week as our first podcast, and I suddenly found that I was an easy go-to spokesperson when talking about sex over 60. We had our first one hundred subscribers within a week, and we were off!

Sex Advice for Seniors is dedicated to addressing all older people’s questions about sex and relationships, which often those same people don’t know how or who to ask. Peter and I discuss issues around sex and the older person in a witty, open and respectful way. Sex is still taboo as I suspect many people, especially younger ones, find the idea of older people still doing it a bit ‘ick.’ I know it is divisive within the Advantages of Age Facebook group. Some people seem relieved and happy to be free of any responsibility from having sex now that procreation is off the table. In contrast, others are still enthusiastic and enjoy an active sex life. And many would like to find a partner and struggle with doing so.

Since we’ve started, we’ve tackled various subjects, from how to keep desire alive within a long-term relationship to why men over 50 should pay for sex, which came about as a result of an interview with a 59-year-old American ‘courtesan.’ Nothing is off the table, including using sex toys, various types of lubricants and pharmaceuticals such as Viagra.

We believe there’s a place for every point of view and are keen to develop a dialogue with our listeners. We would love it if they would contact us with suggestions or questions or participate in the program. For example, our fifth and sixth episodes consist of an interview with an older ‘sex worker’ from the US who got in touch with us. We are always happy to interview people about

any related subject area.

Sex and concerns about sex remain central elements of the human experience even in older age. We would like to make this the place where older people can discuss any concerns they might have, share their experiences, pick up tips and even make connections with others. We would like Sex Advice for Seniors to become the go-to-place for those who recognise that the adventure of sex does not end with age but can ripen and become even better.

Launching our TikTok channel was my idea after a friend whose business is helping older people to grow their awareness using this particular form of social media encouraged me. My son, who also works in digital marketing, suggested that our special quirkiness would appear to TikTok’s users. And he was right.

Within a week, we had over half 1 million views of one of our videos, which took Peter and me entirely by surprise as it was simply a minute of us talking about, well, not very much. But it seems on TikTok that being old, sitting in bed talking about not very much is all you need to become an influencer these days. We are enjoying our newfound fame and joking that perhaps they’ll come a time when we get mobbed walking down the street. Oh, look, those two oldies talk about sex in bed!

So far, we’re having a lot of fun making our podcast and TikTok videos. With the benefit of knowing and understanding each other sexually, it’s a real turn-on. Let’s face it, talking about sex is sexy!

You can subscribe to our podcast here.

You can find us on TikTok here.

‘Grandmas Enjoy Having Sex’: The Truth About Sex As You Age

8 Minute Read

What happens to your sex life when you get to sixty? With very little representation of senior sex on our screens big and small, it seems no-one wants to talk about it.

Yet one 71-year-old begs to differ.

‘Grandmas enjoy having sex,’ laughs Jackie Anderson, ‘but – and I say this with humour – absolutely no one wants to visualise that.’

Sex certainly doesn’t stop when you hit your sixties, and while it might change as things like menopause enter the picture, it doesn’t have to get less adventurous.

Read the full story here: ‘Grandmas Enjoy Having Sex’: The Truth About Sex As You Age

How I Became a Dom – My BDSM Story

1 Minute Read

I’ve been asked to write my personal journey with the BDSM world but first of all I thought I’d let you know the rules when it comes to playing in this arena.

1) Consent is Key. No means No. Anyone defying consent is an abuser at least and well I’ll let you dear reader think what that means at worst.

2) A Submissive (Sub) has to have boundaries. These are the activities where there is an absolute ‘no’ in place. If their Dom overrides them, then this is also abuse. It breaks the consensual agreement.

3) There has to be a safeword in any play. This can be used at anytime the sub wants play to stop.

It’s also important to understand that – To Dom is to Protect and Care. Also that the Dom has control but the Sub the power.

Also re roles. The Dom gives the Sub what they need. Let’s also expel a few myths. The Dom person is not domineering or controlling. A Dom is given control by the Sub. The Sub is not a doormat or a second class citizen or for that matter weak. It takes strength to be a Sub.

I fell into the London Fetish scene 10 years ago. To tell you how and why is a story in itself. Suffice to say my journey as a Dom started as a Sub.

So was it down to fate that I became a Sub. However I was given my first Domme (the female term) /Sub experience in a club for my birthday so I would ‘Get it‘.

This woman, who has now become a very dear friend, used to be a professional domme. In other words, a Dominatrix. Her clients would book her for a fee and she would dom them. She gave me my first ever play. Domming someone is giving them what they want with the goal of orgasm sometimes. From a professional standpoint, Dommes don’t do personal services. Yet their clients may gratify themselves if she allows it and normally this happens nowhere near the Domme.

On this initial occasion, I wasn’t in a serious state of sexual arousal after she had finished but I was – I later learnt – in subspace. Domming a Sub is about mixing sensations. In brief, endorphins come from certain types of pain – for instance, being spanked, flogged or having one’s hair pulled. Serotonin is produced by pleasure and the skin surface itself is a huge erogenous zone. Mix in genital stimulation and you get adrenaline.

There is a chemical reaction as well as mental and physical. In fact, the physical is the least important although it has its place. BDSM is mostly a mental pursuit. What did she do? Well, I was butt naked in a club I’d never been to before, she spanked my arse and stroked it seductively too. She caressed my back, then flogged it.

This Domme was talking to me all the time. She whispered in my ear that I should say ‘Red‘ at anytime and she would stop. I melt when someone whispers in this way and I’m sure she knew that. I was a mess in a good way after she had finished. I’ve had my fair share of pleasure but this was a WOW subspace.

However even during this intense play, I was taking in lots of information about how she dommed. To this day, I use some of her techniques.

So the bar was set high. I bounced around the scene. I hooked up with some Dommes and had a few relationships where I was their Sub. It dawned on me pretty quickly that as a Sub, you are the focus of your Dom. Also having a woman in charge of you, your actions and sensations is sensual.

I’m sure lots of men reading this will be thinking – “No woman is going to domme me.” Well, if you find a cool Domme, try it. I did for six years and I learnt loads about myself and my body. For instance, do you guys know where your G spot is? Find a woman who does and can touch it skillfully – that’s it all your birthdays and Xmas’ in one big gift.

What I can say is in those six years as a Sub, I knew what I was getting myself into. I consented to everything that happened. I even lost my strap-on virginity. And I always felt I had the power to get up and walk away. I cannot reiterate this enough. The Sub always has a choice.

So we move forwards to four years ago. I kept bumping into a certain woman at clubs, after a few chats and hanging out she asked me to dom her. I had a fair idea of what to do from studying my own Dom before.

I managed to borrow a few floggers and other equipment. I strapped her to a cross and then remembering my first Sub/Dom scene I copied what that Domme did to me. Communicating, stroking flogging and more. It was at this juncture that I knew I liked it, being a Dom, that is.

“‘Do you like having your hair pulled?” I asked. “I love it” came the reply. I kept asking her questions whilst unleashing my inner Dom. It was horny as hell and I also got the same kind of buzz as I did as a sub. Dom Rush I called it. After we played, she clung onto me for dear life. I had given her what she wanted and in the way she wanted it. That’s when the penny dropped. She trusted me.

Now I’ve had two Subs. Both times we sat down and discussed the hard limits they have. One of my Subs hated massage. I love giving that but It was a boundary for her. I could flog her, have sex with in any orifice, yet massage was not allowed. Also it was not in my edict to ask why.

As I stated in point 1 at the beginning of this piece, “No” means “no”. Communication is the key. I think I’ve spent more time talking to my Subs than I ever did in my vanilla relationships. In my Dom role, it’s easy to discuss these aspects of the relationship with a prospective Sub.

Being a Dom is giving the Sub what they want. It’s not the Dom doing what they want to the Sub. The Sub / Dom dynamic is built on skillful connection, trust, respect and empathy. So the more you dom, the more the sub surrenders. It’s a circle of energy. If you do it with the right person then it can also be highly sexual. When I hear my sub beg to come, it’s such a turn on. And when a Sub has to beg, they also often get turned on.

I really enjoy being a Dom now. I’m confident in my abilities and yet humble at the same time. I hope. My Subs have been strong independent women but behind closed doors they like to relinquish control in the ways they wish, fo course.They want a man who can give them what they want, how they want and when they want. One key to being a Dom is knowing when they want you to be in control!

Get it right and boy can you have some great debauchery.

Silver is the Dungeon Master at DVS on 5th August. First timers and newbies welcome! For further details click on the FB Event page here.

You can also find him at Flamefest 18-20th August, the Kink Rave Festival in Kent. Full info on the FB page here.

The Emancipation of the MILF | The Cut

19 Minute Read

Does sexual freedom belong only to the young? Claire Dederer doesn’t think so. About six years ago, Claire Dederer realized she had a problem. The problem had to do with sex. It had to do with desire. It had to do with being a middle-aged wife and mother and needing and wanting to be seen and known by new people in a new way, maybe even by people she didn’t particularly like or love or respect all that much. Her problem had something to do with sex but didn’t stop there. It assaulted her notions of what it meant to be a grown-up woman in the world and wanting to have romantic encounters with men who were not her husband. She loved her husband. Obviously, she loved her children, her family, the life they had built together. And at the same time, a part of her wanted to step outside the boundary of the polite, middle-class domestic life they’d drawn around themselves. Or, to put it more crudely, she wanted to fuck around.

Read the full story here: The Emancipation of the MILF

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