The author of My Secret Garden – a shocking and deeply sexy work – has died, leaving a legacy to inspire younger generations
Thomas Moore lived as a monk in a Catholic religious order for 12 years before leaving to become a university lecturer, writer and psychotherapist. Now aged 77, he has a wife and two children and lectures on psychology and the role of spirituality in medicine. In his latest enlightening book, he offers a new approach to ageing, arguing it is something to be cherished, not feared.
What does it mean to age? Many of us find the idea of ageing both sad - the loss of youth, hair, loved ones - and frightening, as we confront the possibility of a future dealing with illness and mental or physical incapacity.
But as a former monk and a psychotherapist who has counselled thousands of people over the past 40 years, I want to tell you that there is another way to look at growing old.
Of course, we must be realistic about the downsides, but there is much to be positive about, too. What I want to teach people about is the joy of ageing.
When I use the word "ageing", I mean becoming more of a person over time.
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Does sexual freedom belong only to the young? Claire Dederer doesn’t think so. About six years ago, Claire Dederer realized she had a problem. The problem had to do with sex. It had to do with desire. It had to do with being a middle-aged wife and mother and needing and wanting to be seen and known by new people in a new way, maybe even by people she didn’t particularly like or love or respect all that much. Her problem had something to do with sex but didn’t stop there. It assaulted her notions of what it meant to be a grown-up woman in the world and wanting to have romantic encounters with men who were not her husband. She loved her husband. Obviously, she loved her children, her family, the life they had built together. And at the same time, a part of her wanted to step outside the boundary of the polite, middle-class domestic life they’d drawn around themselves. Or, to put it more crudely, she wanted to fuck around.
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Things can especially go wrong in this way when we're trying to make love more consciously, because there is already an intention to reach some kind of sacred level with each other. Oh dear, this can be deadly serious. And, quite possibly, deadening for the relationship.
Read the full story here: Is Your Sex Too Serious? | Jayne Blackman